Blah . . . Blah . . . Blabiddy, Blah

Insert clever ["nobody cares, but I'm going to tell you what I'm doing anyway"] update here:

My mission to locate a  baby seal to club is failing.

   Picture a carnival. Creepy, dirty, chaotic and all together, not fun. Now picture that same carnival, with the same dudes in the rented clown costumes. Same cheesy rides kids have been puking on for the better part of a century. Same dust covered, wind-blown, overpriced cotton candy. Only now, you’re on some weird sauce shit you got from a homeless dude on Venice Beach, even though you’ve never been to California. That’s pretty much where all of this is going. It exists, obviously, but not for any good reason and none of it makes much sense.

  Welcome back.

You think you've never been here, but let’s face it, no one really knows, especially you.



11-17-2011

It's nearing the end of what could possibly the longest and worst year of my life. I'm happy to start a new year in just a few short months with high hopes of good things to come. I really should know better than to do this to myself but I do anyway. Positive thinking has gotten me nowhere so many times it's a wonder I bother, but it's worth a shot. I'm happy to announce Dirtbag Couture is doing fabulous!! Shirts are flying out of the shop and new designs are coming regularly. I will soon venture on a trip to Washington to hunt the elusive blacktail deer, hopefully with more success than that of the whitetail hunt. A new painting has been posted to the site which I encourage you to check out in order to get a very unclear and mildly fuzzy idea of what I do for a paycheck (it's of an underground miner).

9-4-2011 

I once read a letter that was written to August. In the letter, the author plead with August to stay and not to leave until after April could come back. I would normally throw my arms up in protest at the thought of not allowing September to come so I could go hunting. However, I was thinking about writing August a letter of my own. I would dare it to stay throughout the year, telling Fall to stay home and smacking Winter in the face with an iron fist. Make it realize that no one really likes how cold and dark it is all the time. Sure, there's plenty of fun activities such as snowboarding, ice fishing, snowmobiling, shoveling snow, scraping ice covered windows, paying a ginormous gas bill all the while freezing your ass off in your own home. Ya, Winter is a real peach. Screw you Winter, and if your miserable personality isn't bad enough, then you have to add Christmas to the mix. I'm no Scrooge, don't get me wrong, I like the holidays and spending time with family, but seriously, the shennannigans are getting out of control. So, August, if you could stay for just a few more months or even a couple weeks, I and many others would greatly appreciate it.  

8-30-2011 

  So, I've been awake for, let's see, it's 9 now, woke up at 1, 1 to 1 is 24, 1 to 9 is 8, 8 and 24 is . . . [trail off into neverland while trying to write clever words, watch a movie and follow three different text conversations] . . . shit. Well, let's all agree I've been up for a minute. I'm not going to waste the time to explain why I've been avoiding the backs of my eyelids for so long because really, it's not that exciting and more importantly, nobody cares. Let's just say, or pretend maybe, that I've been up for X amount of hours because I've been on a witch hunt for green mushrooms with white polka dots. You know the kind. If I found one, or even a whole herd of them, I don't remember but I'm thinking I must have because I'm still here. Awake. Somewhat functioning. Yup, one up for me.